For all the entertainment you’ve provided me with these past few months, I can’t say I’ll miss you. In many ways, you were like an overplayed song– beginning as a form of amusement, and evolving so suddenly into an incessant reminder of our generation’s inability to make unedited music. You were the embodiment of our current Administration: totally inept, strangely arrogant and a glutton for prolonged and brutal punishment. From your upside down American Flag lapel pin, to your less than sneaky hiding skills, your pitbull-esque nature faltered yesterday.

Goodbye, Spicey. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye. I hope, someday, once your Nondisclosure Agreement expires, that you write a stunning, detailed, tell-all novel about your time in a Trumpian White House. Until then, some of my favorite quotes of yours:

“This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe.”

“n9y25ah7”

“The President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Re: Covfefe

“He’s using the words that the media is using…it can’t be a ban if he’s letting a million people in.”

“You had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.”

“I think the President has been very clear.”

“You guys are so negative!”