Point one: It goes without saying, in my boyfriend’s opinion, that water is never to be drank from a plastic bottle. (Also, pause. Is ‘to drink’ not the most difficult verb to conjugate, or what? I don’t even know, STILL, if I’m doing it right.) In most things, he’s not even that environmentally conscious— for example, he and I frequently drive to places within walking distance due to my sheer laziness…maybe my issue— but this is just a major pet peeve for him! So every time I sip on my bottled water, I am destined to receive some sort of lecture. 

Point two: Beyond being told I need to buy my own recyclable water bottle, I also simply cannot drink from a plastic bottle. While most people open their mouths around the rim of the bottle, I literally squeeze the sides, causing the entire bottle to contract and crack noisily. I have been told by SO many people how annoying this is. I understand. It’s annoying. But it’s so much more convenient for me! I feel like I’d do better with a sippy cup than anything else. At least then I could drink my water in peace!

Point three: I have tried the ‘typical’ technique many times. It doesn’t work for me. What can I say? I so, totally march to the beat of my own drum, (the crack of my own plastic).