The other day, I was describing the plot of “White House Down” to a fellow Channing Tatum admirer— or Tatum Channing, as my mother mistakenly refers to him- when I realized I was morphing the plot into a combination of “White House Down” and “Olympus Has Fallen”. Who would have thunk it? They’re both SO different. So vastly, enormously, wildly divergent. (This statement is to be delivered with the same irony as Miranda Priestly’s diatribe on shades of blue.) 

Here’s the deal: This is not the first time I noticed that certain movies released around the same time share overlapping plots. Let’s take the classic case of “No Strings Attached” v. “Friends With Benefits”. Both films follow irreverent, hapless, career-oriented men and women, as they attempt to navigate sexual relations minus the emotional attachment. (Surprise! They fail!)

BOTH were released when I was in 10th grade. How do I know this? One, because I went to “No Strings Attached” on a snow day with my mom, instead of studying for Mr. Alt’s Regular Chemistry test. And two, because my dear Emma O had just gotten her license when we drove to PoCho for “Friends With Benefits”. I think these contextual nibblets really add shape and color to my stories. Agreed? 

Anyway, they’re ESSENTIALLY the same movie! I
prefer “No Strings Attached”. I know that is an unpopular opinion. I just really can’t get enough of Ashton Kutcher’s Period Mixtape. Do you know how much I would have killed for that in 10th grade? Also, do you ever wonder if current couple Ashton and Mila discuss how similar their movies were? Because I sure do.

Here’s how, based on my opinion, other similar movies with similar release dates fared:

• “I Do, But I Don’t” v. “The Wedding Planner” Again, I’m making the less popular
  choice, but I actually think Denise Richards is a weirder, more anal, more believable wedding planner than J. Lo.

• “First Daughter” v. “Chasing Liberty” I may just be a Mandy Moore loyalist, but I remember being seriously disappointed by “First Daughter”. Although I was pleased with the trick about mixing popcorn with chocolate at the movies! Thanks, Katie Holmes.
• “The Illusionist” v. “The Prestige” I think “The Prestige” is just better written, and I loved how twisty-turny it was without completely sacrificing believability.
  
• “Babe” v. “Gordy” If you think “Gordy” holds a
  candle to “Babe”, you are sorely
  mistaken. I will always think of my life as a series of chapters introduced by high-pitched, singing mice.
• “Infamous” v. “Capote” I haven’t been able to make it through either of these movies— or, if I’m being perfectly honest, In Cold Blood. I know. As a true true-crime fan, I am a failure, but I just haven’t been able to get into this story. “Capote” received more accolades, so I’ll just give my vote to “Infamous” because sometimes the underdog deserves a bone.
• “Olympus Has Fallen” v. “White House Down” Tie, because I don’t care.