Until I become an ordering expert, I find myself whispering my drink orders. At Starbucks, before I mastered my mother’s most complex drink order, every word I said was barely audible. Hi. Um. Could. I. (Progressively quieter.) Please. Have. (A whisper.) A. Triple pump, grande, sweetened, green ice tea?! (Nothing. No sound. It’s as if I were mouthing my request rather than speaking it.)

I don’t know what gets into me! It’s like talking to a cute boy for the first time—I completely clam up. Something about the fast paced, caffeine-induced high of a coffee shop, gets me really nervous. Really, any store that sells products with complicated, slightly absurd names makes me tense. I feel silly asking for a ‘Harvey Wallbanger with the Works!’ whenever I go to Juice Press.

On some level, it feels like a drink-clique that I’m not a part of. Everyone who enters, knowing exactly what they want to order, using the lingo perfectly, intimidates me. Until I am suddenly a part of it…Out of nowhere, I completely find my voice, and proudly request my beverage.

Maybe that’s just an inevitable element of gaining confidence in a new environment, but I sense this change most viscerally when I order drinks. It’s wild, because I feel more comfortable raising my hand in a lecture than asking for a green juice!