Skip to content

I Can’t Be Your Wingman, Baby

I have got to learn how to be a better wingman. I have no swagger, no easy sense of talking to boys or turning on the charm. It’s just not something that I ever learned, so now I’m completely inept when it comes to helping my friends meet guys. Here are the two personas I tend to take on:

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma’am.

  • Aggressively pushy. “YOU NEED TO MEET MY FRIEND EMMA! YOU NEED TO! YOU NEED TO! SHE’S PERFECT! SHE’S SMART AND FUNNY AND SHE PLAYS FIELD HOCKEY!” All the while, I’ll have been pinching the boy or prodding him in some severely unenticing way.

    Emma and me at Kaboom

    Emma and me at Kaboom

  • Get the heck out of here! I see contact being made, and I run as fast and as far away as I can. Unfortunately, the whole point of being a wingman is to back your girl up until she’s got it. Ditching from the get-go is entirely counterproductive.
Poor Emma.

Poor Emma.

N.B. This post was written in honor of Emma, and how poorly I wing-manned her last Saturday. I managed to combine personas one and two, and man, was it not a good mixture. I am willing to sign up for lessons or tutorials if anyone’s offering! For now, I’ll probably stay out of the way, and not offer up my mediocre services.

*face palm*

*face palm*

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow my blog :)

Join 2,071 other followers

Archives

Instagram

My lovely advisor and friend, @jessicaemig, visited New York City this weekend! Such a blast to try out those hedonistically good #rainbowbagels! ❤️️💛💚💙💜 Draper James Shoot Preview! #bekindyall Beyond pumped about my amazing pre-publication travel package! I See London, I See France is AMAZING, @sarahmlynowski !#iseelondoniseefrance Me, my "lifestyle blog" and my dog in diapers. Learn how to have it all- including a diapered dog!- at lucyintheskywithcooper.com. 🤘🤘🤘 My Cheddar Spinach Scones on the blog! @averyjanecarmichael @garretthayward Happy Fourth from Lucy in the Sky!
%d bloggers like this: