While surfing the web the other day– have you ever noticed that when learning a new language ‘surfing the web’ is always a phrase to learn? –I discovered an amazing, recently posted video of Mayim Bialik on YouTube. For those who don’t know her work, Bialik is an actor, currently portraying Amy on “The Big Bang Theory”, and previously the star of “Blossom”. (To be fair, I have neither watched “The Big Bang Theory” nor heard of “Blossom”. Slightly before my time…)
Anyhow, Bialik’s video, entitled “Divorce”, details the stars approach to coparenting and divorce. It’s emotional, while being highly logical. Bialik outlines how her expectations shifted, how they didn’t, and how she chose to cope with the changes in her life. Maybe this is where viewers see the marriage of Bialik’s love of the arts and her neuroscience degree from U.S.C? Highly rational. Hyper perceptive.
Regardless, she touches on a whole bunch of points that, as a child of divorce, are totally relatable. Mainly, I love her perspective on perspective. After dwelling on the situation, and drowning herself in regret slash sorrow, Bialik slowly began thinking “less and less about how it wasn’t the life [she] thought it would be” and more and more about accepting what her life actually was.
Acceptance, for me, is sometimes difficult to attain. I am a romantic, and I love tradition. When I feel like torturing myself, I love to imagine the stress of a Christmas, fifteen years from now, where I’ll be shuffling my children back and forth between my parents’ two houses. I’d vastly prefer one Christmas, with my whole family together. I think that’s fairly reasonable– the desire to remain as a singular entity, a complete family. It’s both generally perceived as ‘normal’, and it’s a whole lot simpler.
And yet, at Bialik points out, is this really the worst thing? Is this separation truly the bummer of all bummers for a family? In my family’s case, no. This decision was maturely made and well thought out, by two people who love their children. At the end of the day, although my vision of picture perfect Christmases-to-come warped slightly, I still have my family. My wonderful parents, siblings. Our health. The things that really matter.
If you’re interested in a refreshing take on the aftermath of divorce, do check out Bialik’s video!