While surfing the web the other day– have you ever noticed that when learning a new language ‘surfing the web’ is always a phrase to learn? –I discovered an amazing, […]
When my mother was a little girl, she had two favorite toys: First, her Barbie whose breasts, when you twisted the doll’s left arm around, grew a cup size. (Alias: […]
My friend Sarah taught me the subjunctive mood when I was in 10th grade. She was a junior, and thus, vastly more knowledgeable than I was about everything. We were […]
When I was in 3rd grade, my best friend’s mother bought a Hummer. I was incredibly jealous. That boxy, beautiful car, with the giant grill and the military-inspired vibe. Was […]
Once in a while, it really would come in handy to possess more than zero upper body strength. I’m all for standing on my own two feet, and maintaining my […]
Almost every child can recall that humiliating moment of being publicly reprimanded for having a massive meltdown– or ‘schmuckle’, as my sister’s Godmother likes to call it. At the very […]
During my brief tenure at Shmernwood Shmove, I noticed something fairly strange: a whole bunch of campfire songs are pretty dang morbid. Whether they’re explicitly recalling the death of a […]
Over the weekend, I had a really strange encounter. The specifics are totally negligible— at least when it comes to proving my point here. Basically, I would like to dissect […]
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